What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
