On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
