Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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