I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
