shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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