belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
3 2 1 whiskey
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
