I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
they need to just BURY HIM!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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