Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
