god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
