No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
