Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
