Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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