I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
