That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
