I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
