Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
