White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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