I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have fence marks all over my body
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
