New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
