So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize