My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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