Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize