I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
