She's JV to your varsity
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
