Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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