Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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