Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
