Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
