is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize