East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
her vagine was all disorganized.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
