well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
