Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize