and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
