i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
