What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
