i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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