Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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