you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
