im about as happy as oj after his trial
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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