Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
