Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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