sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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