Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Reggie can tackle my bush.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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