Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
