There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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