I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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