Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
