We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
