tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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