In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
