I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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