sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
