well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
