...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
