so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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