I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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