yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
