I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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