what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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