She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
