I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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