Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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