so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
