dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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