Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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