Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
