She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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