they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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