sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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