The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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