DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
