Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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