I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
